Soul Matters – May 2021

Authenticity is one of my deepest values. I strive to live authentically and I encourage and support my clients to do the same. For me, living authentically means being your true self: not some idea of who you are, or who other people think you are or “should” be. It means embracing some things that might feel risky or like flaws. It means dropping the façade and bringing all of yourself to the game.

Imagine, then, my delight when one of my clients shared with me, about six months into our work together, that I was nothing like the person she’d seen on my website. This was intended to be a compliment, but I felt utterly convicted. I knew exactly what she was talking about and I knew she was right. My real self didn’t match the image I was presenting.

I’ve spent a goodly chunk of my professional life trying to present myself in a way that I had come to believe was necessary. I wanted to be respected and look like the therapist I trained to be. The problem was, I didn’t exactly fit that mold. So I spent that same, goodly chunk of time not feeling authentic. What I believed I was “supposed” to be and do never aligned with who I fully am. I’m relaxed and personable in my work. I hug and laugh. I talk about mind, body, heart and spirit. I share some of my own life experiences. Clients meet my dogs.

So when my client (unintentionally) called me out, I knew it was time to get real and step into full authenticity. And so, in the spirit of walking my talk and getting real, I engaged with an incredible coach and designer and together, over a six month creative journey, I came clean and we created something that is more authentically me.

Welcome to Kintsugi Coaching!

Kintsugi (“keen-soo-gee”) is the Japanese art of mending broken ceramics with gold lacquer, enhancing the fractures and creating an utterly unique and captivating piece of art. Kinsugi is a process and labor of love, just like the process of becoming more of our true selves. It values imperfection and what is real, and it allows us to see the true beauty in our authentic wholeness: a wholeness that includes and values our perceived brokenness.

I am truly delighted to share this new/not-so-new me with you. I will continue to counsel people going through loss and grief and to preach my message that our brokenness is what leads us to become more than we thought we were and more of who we came here to be. I will be expanding on that theme by offering coaching that is specifically aimed at getting past the sticky spots and overcoming the gnawing doubts that keep us in old, limiting, inauthentic ways of being. And I’ll be doing this as all of me: a counselor that helps people heal their past, a coach who helps them craft their future, a teacher, mentor, and imperfectly whole human being.

KATE INGRAM, MA, is a counselor, coach, speaker and award-winning author who is becoming more authentic every day. You can find her newest book, “Grief Girl’s Guide,” as well as her grief workbook, on Amazon or locally at Rebel Heart Books. Find out more at kintsugicoaching.com (check it out!) or write kate@kintsugicoaching.com.