A Cup of Conversation – August 2018

We’re planning a wedding. Our youngest found her soul-mate. He is one very fortunate young man. It’s a good thing I really like him. It would have been an uphill battle all the way, spoken of course in the narrative of the “father of the bride.”

The toast is being written but really is a living document. Mary is still not convinced this father of the bride can pull it off without melting down. The brazen lack of confidence is not encouraging although she has a point.

Marriage is not for the uncommitted. In complete honesty, if there are any lingering doubts still unaddressed, just wait. If denial is being practiced in the dim light of “want to believe,” just say no. Neither one should base this decision on what they want the other to become. If you can’t accept each other completely as is then you’re in denial. It probably won’t end well. The ‘we just grew apart’ rationale really means not having spent the required time and effort really getting to know to whom you were committing every aspect of your life for the rest of time.

Forrest Gump’s momma was right; life is a mixed box of chocolates. No one knows what they’re going to get. However, a good marriage requires knowing pretty much exactly what you’re going to get before the big bite. No big surprises wanted in choosing a mate because life provides plenty of that by itself. So, if you get hoodwinked, it’s almost always on you. Character leaves the signs necessary to make a right choice, and time here is your best friend. Ignore those signs or rush the process and have no one to blame but yourself.

Every wedding is special but how many do we really remember? I can think of only a couple still occupying time and space in my aging mind. If possible, spare no expense and create a memory to last a lifetime for everyone.

The kids flew in recently to pick a wedding venue. We love the idea of a travel wedding. Figure a third of invitees won’t make the trip. That’s perfect. Those who want to be here, will. Those finding reasons not to show are money in the bank. By the way, we’re going to need to watch every penny if Jacksonville’s blatantly discriminatory meals tax passes. It’s amazing the lengths a few will go to get something for nothing, but I digress.

How is it possible to have three-hundred fifty names on this list? Somebody needs to sharpen a pencil and re-evaluate the definition of friend. I’m certainly going to lose this battle of the budget.

Walking bride down the aisle; the huge import of what this really means in the reality of finishing well, haunts my thoughts. Father giving blessing to the choice daughter makes in a man is pretty much everything up to this point for both of us.

Just checked my email. The quote came in on the kid’s choice in venue…just give me a few moments to gather myself. Good thing we saved for most of this because the sequestered nun in the Irish monastery-thing was just a pipe dream…never going to happen for me. She’s way too over the moon lovely to be hidden away in a far off castle and, frankly, it would be cruel to the monks.

The day is coming. This time next year our girl will officially fly the nest. We’ll enjoy every moment, even the part where I sign the big check. Hopefully, wisdom and neighborly decency will prevail at the ballot box this fall so celebratory joy, ours and yours, in this special little town will never be taxed. Please don’t let that happen. There’s a better way, a just way. Life is to too short and small pleasures too fleeting.

Be good not bitter.