Soul Matters – April 2020

It’s Spring, so let’s talk about viruses and anxiety, shall we?

I’m not a fan of viruses. I’ve had one plaguing my body for over six years now. Mine is called Epstein-Barr. So, I know about the anxiety related to illness. I know what it’s like to lie in bed at night, unable to get to sleep, worried about my health and what might happen, or is happening, and how it might affect everything.

Chinese medicine calls viruses, “Pernicious Evil Influences,” which is utterly perfect. They are all three of those things. Viruses are nasty, but the truth is, the anxiety they generate is worse … much worse. The good news is that, while we may not be in complete control of a viral invasion, (and other things like fires and stock market plunges and people doing sh*#ty things), we are in control of the thoughts and feelings we have about those things, and that little truth is all important.

Anxiety is a pernicious evil influence that we create. It doesn’t feel that way; fear and anxiety feel unbidden and totally uncontrollable, but that simply isn’t true. Anxiety is a product of the mind which whips us into a frenzy, creating a fantasy of a fear-laced future that we imagine is inevitable. But the truth is, it’s not real.

Fear is always a product of the mind, of the tiny, hyper-vigilant, ego. Whenever you feel anxious, you have been hijacked by your ego and dragged out of alignment with your heart, with your True Self. So how do you break free of this pernicious, evil anxiety and get back to your heart, back to peace?

The first thing you do is to decide how you want to feel. When I feel anxious, I begin an inner dialogue that goes something like this: I don’t want to feel anxious. I want to feel peaceful. Okay, what things make me feel peaceful? What can I do? Then I list the things that make me feel good. Breathe. Walk. Write. Do yoga. Meditate. Pet the dog. Connect with someone. And then I do those things until I stop feeling so reactive and scared. Once the shift happens, (and it always does) and I feel more calm and centered, it re-enforces the truth that I can control how I feel by where I direct my thoughts.

It takes a certain amount of presence, awareness, and self-discipline to reel yourself back from the edge of the anxiety cliff when you wake up in a panic at 2 am. It’s doubly hard when the anxiety is not just inside of you, but all around you. But regardless of the origin of the anxiety, you always have access to the antidote. Peace is always available.

A Chinese proverb says, “You cannot prevent the bird of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent it from nesting in your hair.” We have so much more power than we think we do: The power to say, “No” to our thoughts; the power to choose peace; the power to say, “Little bird, I see you, but you may not live here.”

KATE INGRAM, MA, is an award-wining author, counselor, and life transitions coach. You can join her at Soul Matters Live! the first Thursday of every month, viruses permitting, at Rellik Winery. On April 2nd the topic will be cultivating presence and peace in the midst of difficult circumstances. It involves wine. (Just kidding — although wine will be available at the event, along with llamas.) Kate’s newest book, “The Grab & Go Grief Kit” is available at amazon.com, Rebel Heart Books, and katherineingram.com.