“Come on in boy, sit on down and tell me about yourself. So you like my daughter do you now? Yeah, we think she’s something else. She’s her daddy’s girl, her mamma’s world, she deserves respect; that’s what she’ll get, ain’t it son? Hey y’all run along and have some fun, I’ll see you when you get back. Bet I’ll be up all night, still cleanin’ this gun.” Rodney Atkins
A beautiful ballad, from the heart that epitomizes the crusade parents with daughters have been fighting since…well, sometime after Adam and Eve I expect; to keep their daughters safe from ravenous, one track minded adolescent boys.
But what about a song that declares how special and vulnerable boys are?
The closest I could find: “Mamma’s don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys.” Willie Nelson. Good advice, but not very endearing.
Then I heard this tune in my head, “Just because you’ve become a young man now, there’s still some things that you don’t understand now. Before you ask some girl for her hand now, keep your freedom for as long as you can now. My momma told me…you better shop around.” The great Smokey Robinson, (come back to Britt Smokey!). Again, great advice, but I I’m not getting misty eyed.
Seriously, try to think of a song that conveys a message about protecting our boys honor, reputation and hearts. It’s not easy; and yet “times, they are a-changin’!”
Parents, we need to get our heads in the game and realize the boy/girl playing field is leveling out and the “double standard” is about to be replaced by the “double play!”
Sure, boys try to manipulate and control the game, but they are opportunistic; so timing is everything. That’s assuming they made the team. Girls, however, are creative, planners who determine the line-up, schedule, ref and call the game due to rain. I can say that because I know, I used to be one; about 20 years and 20lbs ago!
As an aware mom, this is what’s going through my mind when my son introduces us to his girlfriend:
“Nice to meet you.” Ok girl, how’s your play book looking?
“What’s your favorite subject in school?” Besides my son, what else are you studying?
“Who are your parents, what do they do?” Do they know you left the house with that much make-up on?
“Do you play a sport?” Sh-yea! How else would you fit into those skinny jeans….ah to be 17 again, (sigh).
“What are your future plans?” Are you planning a future with my son? Are you worth his loyalty and devotion? Will you be there to lift him up when he’s down? Will you share his dreams and still support him if they conflict with your own? Will you respect or belittle his integrity? Will you feel blessed to be by his side? Will you be proud of him even when he’s at his weakest? Will you see the strength in him even when he can’t? Will you strive to earn his heart every day? Do you see how special he is? Do you see his potential as clearly as I do? Do you see his sensitive side as a weakness, or a way to gain control over him? You will never love him like I love him, never love him like I love him, never love like I…Settle down Momma Bates! This is just a date!
“So, what are your plans for tonight?” Are you going to encourage my son to be a gentleman or invite him into the batter’s box?
“Oh, that sounds nice.” Yea, nice and opportunistic! Uh-Oh!
“Have fun! Watch your back!” Opps, I said that out loud! “I mean, be careful!” Honey, get the keys; we’re going for a ride!
Parents, we are all in this together, so what do we do? Tune in next month for my Scared Celibate plan; the final column in the three part adolescence and relationships series.
“Spread your wings and fly” by Bob Carlisle comes to mind after reading your article. Everyone should take time to listen to that one. Christian artist. All I can say is stay in that ball game girl until they spread their wings and are out on their own. It won’t be long either, if they are “liking” someone already! Believe you me, seems like when they hit that time in their lives,next thing you know, college, than marriage! Think I’ll back up a bit and take this nice and as slow as possible. Lets get through this part first, huh! Young love, innocent love,(crushes), don’t even want to think about “the first kiss”! Good stuff! Thank you for sharing.