A Cup of Conversation – May 2019

I’m completely over the puppies-experience. By week two of eight, my decision-making paradigm was under major assault. In winter-time, one puppy can be a full-time job if your set up is flawed…eight puppies test the outer-limits of what’s humanly possible assuming hygiene and thoughtful care are priority for one having other occupations to consider. Ours was and I do.

Mary was a life-saver, especially considering she only agreed to this puppy project after me promising to do all the dirty work and heavy lifting. Her original job of just loving on the pups was like breathing. The reality was much different when the poopy-apocalypse was raging five times a day or when the mother dog gets explosive diarrhea and needs to be let out every two hours during the night. We soldiered through together, just like old-times when muscling every ounce of labor ourselves to make ends meet in small-town life and livelihood. Oh, the value of youth, coffee and a heavy-duty washing machine!

Raising these pups summoned maternal instincts long-dormant in my DNA. Maternal nurturing and her intrinsic hard labor are clearly not like breathing for this warrior poet. The stark gender contrast makes me a better man although you could not pay me to do this again.

Speaking of gender contrast, we hear a great deal today about toxic masculinity. Masculinity is only denigrated during protracted periods of peace and prosperity. Interesting. It’s only when hot lead of uglier humanity begins to fly in times of war, scarcity or assault upon family do politically motivated screams of toxic masculinity quickly morph into desperate whimpers of,

“Where have all the real men gone?”

Unfortunate for the screaming and whimpering, healthy masculinity is not a faucet to be turned on and off. Healthy masculinity is a constant stream of benevolent, protective influence, ever-present in all forms of inter-personal relationships. Unhealthy masculinity has a defective valve; a wide-open firehose assault on everything in its path but is not the norm, not even close. To justify emasculation of men based on the aberration is the height of folly in a diseased culture; not unlike the FGM scourge upon femininity. Try explaining this to your daughters. Now that is something to truly scream and whimper about but we just don’t hear much on that subject. Hmmm…

Those of us living outside the small media-complex bubbles of radical narratives clearly understand what’s really going on here. Ever notice how soapy bubbles create a prism grossly distorting the image of the object on the other side…until the bubble pops. And bubbles always pop. When this one does, make sure your eyes are not blinded by the ideological lye of deception.

Every husband should experience life as Mr. Mom for at least one week a year, maybe pick a week the kids have the flu! Give the real mom a much-needed break from the hardest job in the world. Have her sit on a beach or soak in pampering spa life for half a fortnight. Things out of balance in the gender-role perspective department realign very quickly. Every wife fortunate enough to stay home with the kids should experience the full-time weight of providing for family; the relentless performance competition, pressure and haunting stress every good provider carries until last the breath. Single parents need not apply since they already know the brutally impossible burden of navigating both. However, ask any of them what they’d do different in the choices department if given the chance.

So, next time toxic masculinity mantras bubble up, consider the brokenness or ignorance or ulterior motivations behind its origins. Look deeper into the poisonous narrative dividing gender; sowing seeds of strife and contention for political power. At the bottom of that dark sink hole is a rotting foulness making eight puppy’s urine-drenched poopy-apocalypse seem like a casual stroll through a coffee roasting factory.