Submitted for the May 2020 issue – Sponsored by Rellik Winery

I know you are probably sick of hearing and reading about this horrid virus; I know I am. It’s like hearing about the hurricane that’s brewing off-shore: we hear report after report, we prepare, we hoard, we hunker down … and we wait … and wait and wait and worry and watch the news and wonder if it will really hit, and when, and whether it will hit us, or just those other unfortunate people. The stress of waiting — of sheltering in place — seems almost as bad as the thing itself.

We cannot predict exactly if or when or what might happen with this (or anything, actually), but we can choose how we live our lives every single day. We get to choose our attitude and approach to life — always, even in the storm. When boiled down to its essence, our choice is always this: do I choose fear, or do I choose love?

We choose fear every time we indulge in worry and what ifs, every time we think of ourselves apart from others. Fear causes contraction. It makes us shrink back and pull in. Love, on the other hand, is generated every time we choose peace, every time we consider the needs of others as equal to our own, every time we are creative and generous of ourselves.

Perfect love, it is said, casts out all fear. But how to get there? How do you move from fear to love when all around you the winds are howling and people are panicking? The following are a few offerings that can help. They are tried and true and will serve you well in this tempest and after. They are all based in choosing love.

CHOOSE NATURE—Nature is a great source of wisdom and calm. Go outside. If you can’t literally get outside, open a window or sit by one. Pay attention to the sky, the wind, the flowers, the insects, trees, birds or animals. Look how unaffected they are by this turbulence! We are blessed by being in the season of spring right now; new life is everywhere. Life is persisting. The daffodils and lambs and blue sky and raindrops are as real and true and happening as anything horrid that you hear on the news. It’s important to remember this. You can choose to focus on the things that open your heart.

TURN OFF THE NOISE—Speaking of the news, turn it off. Seriously. We all know what’s happening and we all know what we need to do. Listening to the numbers count, the politics the minutia does not serve in any practical way and it’s certainly not helpful mentally, emotionally or psychologically. The news and social media are, by and large, agitating and fear-inducing. Know that you will certainly hear what you need to hear without the daily barrage.

HAVE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE—Negative thinking has the tendency to spiral you down into more and more negative thoughts. The opposite is also true. When you are anxious, think of three things you are grateful for. When you wake up, lie there and think of three more things that you are grateful for. When you go to bed, list all the things you are grateful for from that day. This practice is guaranteed to catapult you out of fear and into love. Wonderful, beautiful things are happening all the time, even in the storm. Focus on these things.

BE POSITIVELY PROACTIVE—Instead of thinking about the problems, (as real as they may be) think about one, small thing you can do that is positive. Make soup. Share that soup with someone. Learn a language. Work in the yard, plant a garden, start a book club online. A friend of ours who lost her job at the theater is sewing masks for hospital workers. Do anything you can do to “move the way love makes you move,” as Rumi said. Being positively proactive steps you out of fear and into love.

EMBRACE A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE—A spiritual practice is anything that elevates you beyond your small self. A spiritual practice will take you into your heart where love lives. Yoga can be a spiritual practice. Reading religious texts can be a spiritual practice. Sitting on the porch saying gratitudes can be a spiritual practice. Prayer is a spiritual practice. It’s important to have a daily something that gets you into inner alignment with your heart and your spirit. If you do this, fear cannot rule you. My friend, Nancy, has a wonderful offering called The 28 Day Joy Challenge which has 28 easy, delightful, practical ways to cultivate joy every single day. It’s a page a day, and a fantastic way to choose love and create a practice if you don’t have one. (authenticpathlifecoaching.com)

GET SUPPORT—Lastly, if you find you feel overwhelmed by anxiety, grief, fear or depression, choose love for yourself and reach out for help. We are social creatures, made to be in community and to support one another.

I offer soul-centered counseling and coaching (by phone so you can be safe and snug in your jammies) that can address the root of these difficult emotions and give you the  tools and support to create greater peace and well-being. In my desire to be positively proactive, I am now offering brief coaching sessions of 30 minutes at a reduced rate of $50 if you need a little practical guidance. I also offer regular, 60 minute counseling sessions (by phone) which you can schedule here.

Speaking of support, we are continuing the Soul Matters Live! series but instead of meeting at the lovely Rellik Winery, we are going to be gathering virtually on Zoom. As much as I prefer and love to be in person, the online platform has a number of benefits: no drive time, no need to dress up, you can BYOB, and we can include lots of people from all over! If you’re already on my email list, you’ll receive an announcement with event info. If you’re not on my list, you should be. 😉 I’ll also be posting to my Facebook page. The next gathering will be Thursday, April 9 at 5:30. We’ll be discussing the difficult thoughts and feelings that this strange time is stirring up. It’s a potent time for tremendous insight and growth and since my whole shtick is transforming through trauma, we should have a lot to talk about.

I wish you all great peace and good health. Be kind to yourselves and to one another, and remember to choose love: it’s the best medicine there is.