Soul Matters – March 2020

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” ~Marcus Aurelius

For most of my life, I have been a seeker: a seeker of truth, understanding, and also happiness. Seeking understanding and wisdom is honorable enough, but the happiness bit has been somewhat challenging.

It’s said that, “Happiness is an inside job.” Now, I get the premise that things “out there” don’t make one happy, at least not for long, but I questioned how, exactly, I could be truly happy being sick, or dealing with financial or relationship problems. The concept eluded me. It didn’t seem possible. I chalked it up to a personality thing; I lean toward melancholy, so maybe happy was harder for me. But I think I may have cracked the code. The answer lies in two, simple practices: awareness and presence.

Profound awareness and presence open the door to happiness.

The clarity was sparked by a little book I found titled, Ichigo Ichie: The Art of Making the Most of Every Moment, the Japanese Way. Ichigo Ichie means, “What we are experiencing right now will never happen again. And therefore, we must value each moment like a beautiful treasure.” In Japan, the phrase is used in parting, and it’s also a way of life. The national celebration of the arrival of the cherry blossoms, for example, is one, expansive expression of ichigo ichie.

Being aware of the passage of time—the irreplaceable, unrepeatable unique preciousness of every moment—is the key to happiness. This day, this moment will never come again. I admit, such an awareness plucks at my inherent, melancholy heartstrings. But it is also a call to presence. Seize the moment. Or perhaps better said, let the moment seize you.

For those of us who have raised living in the past and the future to a high art, coming into this precise moment feels like losing control, like not getting on with things. But in truth, it’s connecting to the only thing that’s real: Now. And now is where happy lives.

Knowing that each moment is all you have and that it cannot be re-lived, is a powerful reminder to soak up the goodness that is right now. Awareness and presence are what open us to happiness, and happiness is only ever in the immediate now. By giving yourself over to right now—awakening the senses, savoring every moment, doing only one thing at a time as if it were the only thing that exists—you slip into flow, into timeless aliveness. Being in the moment we discover that, as the authors of Ichigo Ichie write, “Every unrepeatable moment is a small oasis of happiness, and many oases together make an ocean of happiness.”

In the next Soul Matters Live! gathering on March 5, I’ll be diving into the particulars of practicing ichigo ichie—finding happiness by cultivating presence—both what helps and what hinders it. I hope you’ll join me for another fabulous evening and discover some tools for creating happiness right here, right now.

Ichigo Ichie, my friends.

KATE INGRAM, MA, is a counselor, coach, speaker and award-winning author who’s practicing living in the present tense. Her latest book, The Grab & Go Grief Kit, is now available as a digital download on her website, katherineingram.com, or as a print copy at amazon.com and Rebel Heart Books. Soul Matters Live! will be at Rellik Winery on March 5, from 5:30-7:00pm. Cost is $10 at the door.