The Unfettered Critic – September 2018

Dogs are entertainment. Unfettered entertainment, if you will. Life without dogs is possible…but for people like us, it’s far less enjoyable.

Dogs also are a job. We take care of them, 24/7, from the day we let them into our lives to their last passing moments. We’ve written about dogs before, mostly through the metaphor of “critiquing movies about dogs.” But let’s skip the metaphor this time, and just talk “dogs.”

Many of you knew, or at least recognized, our two beloved collies, Shadow and Mandy. We made it our job, our responsibility, to walk them about town several times daily. When they grew old, and Jacksonville’s hills became difficult, we stopped walking them. We stopped walking us, too, as though walking was an activity one could do only with a dog. In fact, we stopped traveling altogether, and just stayed home, catering to their needs in our “doggy hospice.”

Inevitably they left us, one at a time, months apart. For a while, we felt aimless. Adrift. Dogs dictate how you prioritize day-to-day activities. Suddenly we were jobless. And seriously not entertained.

But then came the Realization. For the first time in a year we were free to leave the house, even the town. We could make vacation plans. Indulge in long-distance travel. Enjoy marvelous scenery and visits to long-lost relatives. Dine across the U.S.A. Think of the possibilities! Think of the calories!

We could have filled a travel guide with the adventures we considered! But “Fate” (if that’s her name) got busy making plans even as we embarked upon our first journey—a circular jaunt, north to the Columbia River, west to Astoria, and then south for a leisurely drive down the Oregon coast. It was all smooth sailing until, as we neared the Columbia, one of us made a seemingly innocent suggestion: “Let’s take a quick side trip into Washington. It won’t take us much out of our way.”

Um…okay, the other agreed.

Clearly there was device in the detour, but it was a pretty drive. The side trip took us to the home of a very nice person who just happened to breed collies. In fact, she was in the process of weaning a recent litter. Fortunately, those pups all were spoken for, but she let us know that more pups would be due in a few months. We agreed to think about it, kissed some tiny noses, and went on our way.

The rest of the trip was glorious. Sunshine. Waves. Salmon. Crab. It was invigorating and satiating. So we began to discuss our next trip. Perhaps St. Louis, to see relatives and devour barbecued ribs. Perhaps New Orleans, to see friends and devour beignets.

Ultimately, we opted—and made plans—for New York City, where we could see relatives and friends, a Broadway show, museums, and real, honest-to-goodness delis (corned beef and kreplach)!

That’s when Fate raised her fuzzy little paw. One of those pups we’d kissed, we learned, was available after all. Seeing as one of us is “just a girl who can’t say no,” we quickly retrieved it. And, doubling down on the whole thing, arranged to adopt a second pup from the second litter following our NYC trip.

Ribs and beignets will have to wait. For now.

Which brings us to one last point about dogs. Dogs are trouble. Somehow, we’re back where we started.

It could be worse. At least we know that life is bound to be entertaining for the foreseeable future. And that there’ll be lots of walks to get us in shape for those future culinary excursions.