ONE OF OUR cable boxes recently stopped functioning. So the cable company promised to dispatch “Someone” to perform an “analysis.”
We thought the Someone simply would replace the box. A no-brainer, right? But after inspecting the numerous cables that over the decades had been dangled from the poles, dragged across the […]
WE MIGHT HAVE suspected from the movie’s title.
It could’ve been named “Sweet Caroline,” or “Play Me,” or “Beautiful Noise,” or, for crying out loud, “The Story of My Life.” But it wasn’t. It’s titled Song Sung Blue. See the gentle yet obvious foreshadowing?
Those of you who follow this column likely […]
RECENTLY, we needed an empty box. We spotted one that looked to be the perfect size underneath a stack of other boxes in the far back corner of our garage, and thought perhaps we could cannibalize it. That necessitated moving several other stacks so we could work […]
DEAR PUBLISHER PARKER, Citizens of Jacksonville, and all the ships at sea,
As you know, we traditionally think of this column as a two-fisted (well, four-fisted, if you’re going to be picky about it) effort. For seventeen-odd (and some even odder) years, we’ve endeavored to enhance our little corner of this […]
FROM TIME TO TIME, the entertainment industry hits upon a brilliant notion and begins to churn out product along those brilliant lines. Lots of product. Until eventually it runs out of fresh twists and begins to eat itself.
Or so it seems.
Recently, the television arm of the biz has stumbled, face […]
THROUGH OUR amazing powers of anticipatory perception, Dear Readers, we already detect you muttering, “Hey, Critics—haven’t you talked about television food shows before?”
Well, yes. But in our defense, please note that we’ve only mentioned food shows in passing while filling column inches about other stuff. We’ll be more specific this […]
AS DEDICATED Entertainment Geeks, we’ve reviewed movies, music, plays, weather, books, dogs, and, of course, TV. It seems the only topic we haven’t appraised is TV commercials.
Until now.
The commercials that (unfortunately) stick with us the most come from Big Pharma, possibly because they shell out Big Bucks to create jingles […]
THE PANDAMMIT OF 2020 changed the world of entertainment. It was a tedious period, during which we stopped visiting Places and Events that we’d long relished: Restaurants. Movie theaters. Music festivals. Backyard barbecues. Family gatherings. And, of course:
OSF: The renowned Oregon Shakespeare Festival located a mere half-gallon of gasoline down […]
YOU, DEAR READER, have little reason to concern yourselves with the whims that flutter aimlessly through your Unfettered Critics’ brains at those rare moments when they’re not engrossed in pictures moving across a screen, big or small. Nevertheless, we’re audaciously going to pretend that you are interested, […]
WHO DOESN’T LOVE a “cozy?”
Cozies, as mystery lovers know, involve crime-solving in a charming setting (like a historic mansion), with minimal graphic violence (so the initial crime likely happens “off-stage”). Agatha Christie, among many others, deservedly became famous for her cozies. They make great reads on […]
DOCUMENTARY/ is the first line of a poem/ known as a haiku.
Really.
It has the required five syllables. Also, it allows us to put a five-syllable word into this Lifestyle Magazine (upping the I.Q. factor). Plus, we know that by watching documentaries, we’ll be distracted from the incessant drone of “news” […]
WHEN WE HEARD that Jesse Eisenberg had written, directed, and starred in an upcoming motion picture, we were intrigued. We’d first taken note of the New York-based actor in 2010, when he wowed us as Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network. By that time, he’d already appeared in over a […]
A PERSON’S LIFE runs from the birth canal to the burial ground. So when deciding to write a biopic about that life, at what point should a screenwriter jump in? Is everything notable? Or is one period of that character’s life most deserving of examination?
The creators of the biopic A […]
RECENTLY we were drifting through Art Presence admiring an exhibit of locally-crafted artwork, when a woman looked up from a chair in a corner and calmly stated, “I’m waiting to see what you say about Wolfs.”
Really.
Let us step back for a moment. We always enjoy encountering you, Dear Readers, […]
AN INCREASINGLY COMMON TV TROPE has ripened into our favorite TV trope.
We hope that provocative sentence has prompted you to ask two questions. #1: What the heck is a trope? and #2: What favorite TV trope is that?
To answer your first question, a trope is an overused device, or stereotype. […]
WE ADMIT IT. We’ve spent the summer complaining too much about the weather. You’ve probably wondered when the heck your Unfettered Critters would get back to their primary gig: complaining about—no, no, critiquing! —Entertainment. Yeah. We wondered, too. We’ve missed it. So, what’s been stopping us?
Well, we’ve had an unwelcome […]
“There are places I’ll remember, all my life,
though some have changed. Some forever, not for better.
Some have gone and some remain.”
~John Lennon, “In My Life.”
WE’VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION that Jacksonville is the center of the universe. Or at least our universe. We love the fact that—assuming you […]
BACK IN THOSE HEADY DAYS when groups like The Doobie Brothers and Three Dog Night were but burgeoning hopefuls, one of us Unfettered types harbored similar rock ‘n’ roll proclivities, and wrote a lyric that went: Everybody talks about the weather/But nobody does nothin’ about it (cha, cha, cha). The […]
Britt Season!
Just entered the start of Britt Season!
It suddenly occurs
We’ve written not one word…
About it!
Britt Season!
Say it loud and there’s music playing.
Say it soft and…and…well, there’s music playing then, too.
OKAY, MOVING ON. It’s late—July already. That beautiful stage on the hill has been sweetly resonant for weeks, with the Britt […]
JUST THE OTHER DAY, one of us was saying that he’d like to see a good caper movie, like The Sting, or Ocean’s Eleven. Something with a lot of action that raises adrenalin levels and makes you think. Coincidentally, Netflix sent us an ad boasting about a bunch of “action-packed […]
IT’S NOT AS THOUGH our TV is always on.
Granted, it’s active most evenings, as we watch a movie, or a favored weekly program.
But during the daytime…
Okay, okay—it’s on then too—providing comforting background noise to our daily activities, like waves slapping a pristine shore, or soft breezes rustling leaves of forest […]
“APRIL IS THE CRUELEST MONTH,” T.S. Elliot wrote in The Waste Land. He was right, at least about the month’s first day, abused as “April Fool’s Day.” We’re not big fans of the all-too-common practice of jokers attempting to draw attention to themselves by playing foolish pranks upon any and […]
CARTOONIST DAVID SIPRESS NAILED IT with his recent illustration in the The New Yorker, titled “Two Baby Boomers Watch the Grammys.”
Two old geezers (Hey, that’s us!) sit on a sofa in front of their telly, watching the festivities. The individual thought bubbles above their heads read, “Who?” “Who?” “Who?” And […]
WHEN WE HEARD that actor/writer/director Bradley Cooper was planning a bio-pic about Leonard Bernstein, we were stoked. Bernstein stands as perhaps America’s greatest conductor/composer, listed historically and globally among icons such as Mozart and Beethoven. As for Cooper, we praised his abilities in this column in 2018, for his work […]
We have good news and bad news. Or, more accurately, good news and sad news.
We’re wildly happy that Jacksonville is home to the Britt Music and Arts Festival, and felt thrilled throughout the recent season as Executive Director Abby McKee handily demonstrated her prowess at the helm. Yet there’s […]
“This is dedicated… to the one I love…”
Or, more accurately, the ONES WE love. We’re thinking about “the girl groups,” teenage vocalists that had as much to do with the birth of Rock ‘n’ Roll as Elvis Presley, or as the Sears catalog’s guitar page.
You know of whom we speak. […]
You know that television commercial that seems to get recycled every few years? The one where the old lady pitifully moans, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
This isn’t about that. Although it might as well be.
Our personal pitiful moan this month is: “Help! We’ve traveled and we can’t […]
Hi.
Terry here.
Paula has the month off—except that she rewrote, edited, and grammar-corrected this into readability, so, “Thanks, Paula.”
Anyway—recently I’ve been reminiscing about facts that seem, to me at least, stranger than fiction. For instance:
During the first two years of my life, the President of the United States was named Franklin […]
Forty-two.
Yes, it’s the ultimate answer to life, the universe and everything. But more importantly, it’s the number of years since we first met Indiana Jones—archaeologist/professor/badass, with a bullwhip at his side and a well-worn fedora on his head.
Over the years, we’ve watched him battle his way through hostile natives, fascistic […]
(In which your Unfettered Critics attempt to convince Our Readers that meteorology can be a form of entertainment.)
“Sure hope it doesn’t rain on Ringo,” we recently took to saying. Our concerns weren’t so much for our favorite drummer as for ourselves. Sir Ringo would stay dry on the covered Britt […]
You remember M.A.S.H., right? That viewer favorite ran for eleven seasons, an unusually long run, as most shows at the time said goodbye after six or seven seasons. Eleven wasn’t the record, of course—Gunsmoke had survived a then-unprecedented twenty seasons—but producers and marketing execs took note anyway. And today, a […]
FAR OUT! The Britt Festival has announced the entirety of their 2023 schedule, and, as expected, it’s a gas! Which is to say, it’s funky, and fab, and outtasight! We certainly dig it.
But then, we are—and we say this proudly—Boomers. Never thought that word would become synonymous with senior citizens, […]
Why do people go to the movies?
Prior to 2020, you probably would have answered, “For the experience of being entertained amidst a crowd of presumably like-minded individuals who will laugh or cry or gasp at the same time I do. And for the popcorn.”
These days, it’s more like: “I have […]
Long ago and far away, as we cheerfully informed friends that we’d purchased a home in distant Jacksonville, Oregon, a few surprised us by responding with a curious familiarity. “I once spent a whole day exploring the Jacksonville Cemetery,” recalled a dear friend in New Mexico. And from our tax […]
Ah, Masterpiece Theatre.
Since 1971, this British-produced television program has sustained us unlettered American slobs (no offense) with weekly servings of fascinating drama. Initially, Masterpiece Theatre aired adaptations of classic novels and historical biographies. Then one happy day they added compelling mysteries and police procedurals into the mix.
These newcomers proved so […]
Being that we’re comfortably relaxed into the gentle flow of Jacksonville living, the most pressing responsibility we encounter each month is the content of this column. “What the heck should we write about this time,” one of us will start. “We could take in a movie,” comes an oft-repeated […]
Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
Into the future…” ~Steve Miller, 1976
Slippin,’ in fact, happens all the time.
Let’s say you come up with the most amazing, ground-breaking technology ever seen. Your awesome innovation changes everything it touches and is applauded as true magic.
Then, in the blink of a decade or two […]
Cole Porter had it right. It’s too darn hot… to sup, fill the cup, or engage in any of the usual (ahem) shenanigans with your honey during this hot, hot, hot summer.
Our suggestion: boost the air conditioning, and stream, baby, stream—on the web, that is. Whether it’s a movie you […]
We thought it would be easy. We’d drive to the theater, watch Elvis, and write a review. We already knew so much about the legendary singer, we figured we could write a worthy column even without seeing the movie. The title, after all, is “Elvis,” so it’s about Elvis—right?
Well, as […]
Bonnie Raitt is coming back to the Britt stage. YAY!
Bonnie first “broke” into the public eye with her 1989 album, Nick of Time. It won three Grammy Awards, and is among the few CDs that never get re-alphabetized into our overstuffed library of the things. But before that heady experience, […]
“Downton Abbey! Have you heard it’s coming back?”
A voice called from across the street, not far from Jacksonville’s historic downtown. We looked around, and realized it belonged to a neighbor whom we hadn’t seen for two mask-obscured years. We recalled that she was a Review reader familiar with our humble […]
We mentioned “remakes” in our last column: new movies based on existing properties that inspired studios and filmmakers to wanna do them again. Remake motivation for studio executives is obvious. If it made money before, the prospect of cashing in on the same property a second time is irresistible.
Motivation for […]
You were up at five AM on February 8, anxiously awaiting revelation of the 2021 Oscar nominations, right?
Yeah, neither were we, but then, we’re old hands at this. We slept in, and looked them up on the ‘net later in the day. We felt pretty smug because we’d actually seen […]
Sinking into a comfy seat in a crowded auditorium ain’t gonna happen for us—yet. The good news, however, is that we all can be entertained at home (for just a little longer).
May we recommend Director Peter Jackson’s perfect (we mean it) documentary, The Beatles: Get Back, streaming on Disney+. The […]
Have you ever felt as though you’re in a Twilight Zone episode?
Of course you have. Everybody feels that way these days—ever since early 2020, when we all woke to discover that our entire planet had fallen prey to a deadly viral pandemic. Suddenly everything we knew about our existence […]
Back when TVs still wore rabbit ears, rumors spread about “pay television.” Folks chuckled, “Will we have to drop quarters into a box? Who’s gonna come around to pick up the coins?”
“Streaming” was something only salmon in the Pacific Northwest cared about.
Fast forward to the twenty-first century. The streaming bill […]
Trade magazine Publisher’s Weekly reports that book sales are climbing for the second year. This news can be traced directly to the pandammit. Statistics show that people have remembered that nothing’s more comforting than a good book.
But with thousands of new books being published, how does one choose? We want […]
It began at the beginning. Literally.
You’re aware that John Wayne was born Marion Morrison, right? And that Marilyn Monroe’s birth name was Norma Jeane Mortenson until she changed it to Baker until she changed it again. Changing names has been movie star practice for so long that we’re not surprised […]
We watched a movie at a theater for the first time in eighteen months.
Really.
And yes, it felt like a big deal, because post-vaccinations, with the pandammit looking a little less fearsome, we felt an itch to go where we didn’t have to pop our own corn. Hollywood, finally, was releasing […]
Something’s in the air. Something soothing, as opposed to the scary silence that’s surrounded us for far too long.
Voices can be heard on the street, unmuffled by masks. We hear hellos. Hellos from friends we haven’t seen in a while. Hellos from friends we’re meeting for the first time.
We may […]