A Cup of Conversation – August 2019

Good Evening. Looks like the father of the bride is scheduled last to toast tonight. That’s okay. It gives me what may be the last opportunity to thank you so much for being here. Our family is overwhelmed by the outpouring of love on this very special day.

Before we get started, I wanted to compliment Colin on first his exquisite taste in women. I mean, right? Son, I think we both married a step up in that department. Secondly that suit tux is super sharp. The Dodger Blue color is a great touch. I know you’re a Giant’s fan so did you do that for me, son?

If this toast seems is a little lengthy…it is. I’ve been writing it for most of Savvy’s life. I say “most” because there was a brief moment when the sequestered nun-thing sounded really good to me. Her mother was not on board with that until I mentioned the old Irish monastery, Kylemore Abby.

After that, Mary and I were joined at the hip on the sequestered nun-thing. But that was only a pipe dream. I mean, look at her! It was never going to happen for me. Besides, she’s far too lovely to be hidden away with a bunch of monks…which in itself is problematic. It would’ve been cruel to the monks. At the end of his days, a man has enough to atone for in life without adding monk cruelty to the list.

Okay. Let’s get started…but in full disclosure, it may get a little weepy.

It’s interesting how women hear that and go quiet where the men are thinking whatever, I wonder if it’s open bar?

When Savvy was born we almost lost her. We came this close. By the look on the doctor’s face as she finally wrenched Savvy’s tiny lifeless body from her mother, only seconds separated joy from tragedy. When things got really scary, the anesthesiologist tried to put a gas mask on Mary but she fought it off. To this day, I’ve never spoken of it but believe my wife was resolute to face tragedy head on should it come. Mary is tough as nails in that department. Wheeled into surgery she reached out and pinched me hard. She said, “Do not leave her side.” I obeyed.

I followed the staff into the baby ICU. They were not real happy about that but the head nurse happened to be a friend. There’s no such thing as a coincidence.

She scrubbed me up and set me at the foot of the digital crib which looked like part pinball machine. They told me what the numbers meant, where Savvy was and where she needed to be. I got to hold Savvy’s tiny hands and feet as she recovered.

With one breath, I’d promise her the world and with the next I’d ask God for the strength to honor the promise. This went on for a while. When I ran out of promises, I started to quietly sing. I don’t sing…but she didn’t care.

When vital signs finally started to move her way, it wasn’t long before Savvy’s deep blue eyes opened. It took a minute to get her bearings but soon her eyes found mine…and never left…until today when walking her down the aisle and placing her hand into Colin’s. Turning to take my place, I saw the way she looked at him and recognized that look.

Yeah, this is the weepy part. It was the way she looked at me when she was just a baby; just a little girl…had not seen that in a while.

I thought I was ready for this but clearly am not, but okay, it’s the way it has to be and the way it should be. Don’t think for a second Heaven didn’t notice. Oh, Heaven noticed and I’ll explain why.

When Savvy was born, I experienced what all good fathers do. Maybe one difference is I knew then what it was. God took a sliver of his infinite love and placed it into this father’s heart. A love so powerful and foreign to this flawed man it’s taken a quarter-century to unpack. What I didn’t know was how much my family would need this powerful love in me.

You wouldn’t necessarily know just sitting here today. We are healthy and whole now. But there were long years of great trial, pain and loss on all fronts, marriage, family, livelihood and health. However our family would overcome because God restores the years the locusts devour…just as it was written long ago.

As father of the bride, this is my legacy. It is the legacy of overcoming. I don’t existentially worry about our kids. They know what’s required to overcome because it’s been modeled to them. Whether they choose to employ what’s required when life really brings it, is another chapter.

Ok…that’s enough drama for this father of the bride.

We love Colin. What I admire most is how he’s managed to keep a soft, inner-heart even in the cold, digital Silicon Valley world he’s currently thriving in. We both have spent the time to really know each other. There is nothing we cannot talk about and probably few things we haven’t. Colin, in so many words, says I have to accept the Millennial, Digital Reality. I tell him to prepare for when the music stops…because it always does. I think he hears me although I’ll keep reminding him. It’s what I do. I am after all, the Father of the Bride.

So today we usher Colin into our family and Savvy into his. I’m confident this is a forever thing because Savvy and Colin are forever-minded. One and done, as Colin says. It’s how they were raised.

I respect his judgement…for a thirty-year old. Most importantly, he loves Savvy and will honor the vows spoken today. A father of the bride cannot ask for anything more.

Colin and Savannah were woven together by higher hands. I’ve known this for a while. I prayed for this union and God was faithful one more time. There’s been a great deal of this special grace and favor in our lives. Please raise your glasses with Dan, Holly, Mary and me to toast Colin and Savannah. We invite you to speak this powerful blessing out after me.

May joy never leave your home. May patience soften expectations of yourselves and each other. May doing good always be your strongest intention especially if it costs you. May your faith make you smile when the whole world seems against you.

Lastly… and likely the most pragmatic advice any young married people may receive. In fact, if you heed this wisdom, there is absolute certainty peace and favor will never leave your home. Are you ready?

May love approve every word BEFORE spoken to one another.

For those who have ears to hear. From here now to forever more.

Oh…one last thing. Savvy, honey…today you are lovingly but officially off the payroll! Colin, keep your day job, son.

To Colin and Savannah!