I’ve heard from every corner of Jacksonville and the greater Rogue Valley that 2020 has been one of the most difficult years ever. With that in mind, I thought the Thanksgiving season was the right time to reflect upon being grateful for what we do have. As such, I asked my dear friend, Gates McKibbin, to share her insights on the topic of “gratitude” and know you’ll agree that we are fortunate to live in our Small Town with Big Atmosphere. ~Whitman Parker, Publisher
Guest My View – November 2020
Decades ago when I was going through a tough time, a friend advised, “Live in love.”
“Love!” I retorted. “I can’t feel a shred of that right now.”
“Then think of something you are grateful for,” she suggested. “That will get you back into your heart. Gratitude is the closest emotion to love.”
Figuring I had nothing to lose, I expressed how grateful I was for her steadfast, savvy friendship. Almost immediately a tentative spark of joy entered my heart, interrupting my dark mood if only for a moment. It was enough to convince me that gratitude and love are indeed connected. It lives in the heart, right next to love.
Gratitude became a habit I willingly embraced because it was so uplifting and effective. Over time I began to experience life from my heart as much as my head, becoming more awake to boons and blessings.
Being grateful is a conscious choice. We can pay attention to what is lacking, giving it more energy than it deserves, or we can appreciate the daily gifts that grace our ordinary, extraordinary lives. One thing is true. It is impossible to be grateful for anything large or small when we are preoccupied with what is going wrong.
I thought I was living a gratitude-filled life pre-pandemic. But COVID changed all that, and not how you might think. With news that the virus had arrived in the US, I canceled travel plans until the end of the year and told friends who were planning to visit that I preferred they not come. I committed to hiking in the woodlands every morning to strengthen my lungs, and otherwise left home only once a week for grocery shopping and essential errands.
Along the way something unexpected happened. Rather than feeling oppressed by what had been stripped from my life, I began to cherish what I now call “radical simplicity.” And from that simplicity emerged gratitude for my new quality of life.
COVID proved to be a powerful teacher. The pandemic descended upon us without warning or invitation and proceeded to run rampant, disrupting the most basic aspects of our lives – jobs, school, security, health, family dynamics, social life.
Then came the Almeda fire, which also descended upon us without warning or invitation and proceeded to run rampant through the valley. With gray clouds of ash billowing toward my house, I retrieved my already packed go-bag and loaded my car for possible evacuation. Jacksonville was spared, but others were not so fortunate. The wind just happened to be blowing in their direction—not ours.
In the aftermath of the devastation I donated essentials for evacuees and kept an eye on the air-quality index. As the West Coast burned, raising the AQI to an unprecedented 535, I remained sequestered in my bedroom with the air purifier going full blast. Whenever I stepped into the rest of the house I could smell smoke even though all the windows and doors were shut tight.
I thought of the evacuees, breathing unhealthy air and dealing with the loss of their homes and businesses. I thought of the deer and the squirrels—and even the wild turkeys—with no way to escape the smoke. I was grateful to have a room with clean air where I could sleep and answer messages from concerned friends, catch-up on my reading and create collages.
I am not suggesting that we should be grateful for the virus or the fire and the immense toll both have taken. But I am saying that even in this difficult context, we can feel and share gratitude: gratitude for essential workers in hospitals and care facilities, grocery stores and the post office; gratitude for how people and organizations in the valley came together to help those in need after the fire; gratitude to be living in a community of spirited souls who understand how integral the greater good is to the good life.
Choose to live in gratitude, seeing with the eyes of your heart.