Soul Matters – November 2025

“The things you think about determine the quality of your mind.
Your soul takes on the color of your thoughts.”
~ Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

WE ARE LIVING in troubled times. “Strange days indeed,” in the words of the late John Lennon. The planet, the world, our nation, our communities are all affected by multiple, paradigm-shifting forces. I find it overwhelming. Deeply troubling. Frightening. Subjected to a relentless barrage of ugliness, it is increasingly tempting to tune out, or to succumb to the vitriol. I have done both. I don’t like either.

So, the question is: what to do? What does one do with the grief, fear, pain, violence, and harshness? What does one do with the difficult thoughts and feelings that these events engender? There are a number of potential answers to those questions, but what I keep coming back to is the concept of values.

Our values are our north star. What we value is, by definition, what we believe is important, worthy of our time and efforts. Stoic philosophy places value-based action as the central core of living. Do the right thing. As an emotionally-centered being, I find this philosophy provides a brilliant framework to keep me from becoming lost in my feelings and provides the answer for how to be and what to do.

Values don’t vary by circumstance; they are (or should be) a constant that I can apply in all situations. So, the question is, what do you believe is most important? At the top of my personal list are kindness and compassion. To counter my feelings of helplessness, frustration, or anger, I ask myself, how might I apply kindness to this situation? How might I offer compassion? Then, as I consider taking action, I can lean into these values and do the right thing. I can realign myself, re-focus, and then, act.

I invite you to consider what you value. I think you’ll find that it is a remarkably clarifying and life-orienting question. (You can find a helpful list to prime your thinking by searching “list of values” online.) You will be tempted to list 10-20 but try to narrow it down to the two strongest ones. If you identify what is most important to you, and then focus on actually living it, it might completely change your life. If we all did this, we might completely change the world.

KATE INGRAM, MA, CSBC, is a holistic counselor, coach, award-winning author, dog mom and proud mother of two amazing humans. Find out more at kintsugicoaching.com or write kate@kintsugicoaching.com.