The Unfettered Critic – October 2024

WE ADMIT IT. We’ve spent the summer complaining too much about the weather. You’ve probably wondered when the heck your Unfettered Critters would get back to their primary gig: complaining about—no, no, critiquing! —Entertainment. Yeah. We wondered, too. We’ve missed it. So, what’s been stopping us?

Well, we’ve had an unwelcome visitor this summer. While the visitor was here, we found it difficult to focus on anything else. The good news is: We’ve finally been able to give this intruder an eviction notice. Pointed at the calendar and the door, and said, loudly, “Get out of here!” Because we’re sick of the trespasser.

“Who?” you ask. You know—that entity newscasters keep talking about on the radio and the TV. Every dang day.

Sound familiar? It should! It’s that encroacher they call “WIDESPREAD HAYES,” the biggest, baddest scoundrel in these parts. A real villain. A stinky villain! That’s how you can tell that the invader is in your neighborhood. It starts when you smell a presence sneaking over the hills, spreading influence across the valleys, up and down the region. Making an unwanted presence known with every breath one takes.

We’d even taken to calling the visitor “him.”  We quietly were hoping that he’d take his stinky aura and move on by himself. But he just didn’t accept hints, so we finally stopped being hazy and got vocal.

“You stink, Widespread Hayes!” we started yelling. “We’re not going to put up with you any longer. GET OUT!” Oooh. That felt good. “AND STAY OUT!” Ahhh.

By the time you read this, we’re sure that things will have improved. It’s Fall, after all. Clear skies, or perhaps rainy days, will have intervened. We’re counting on that. With our minds cleansing and the season changing, we’ve recovered enough to provide a tidbit of our primary vocation within this colorful Lifestyle Magazine. Here comes our latest clear thoughts within the above mentioned subject of “entertainment critiquing.” And so, here we go:

Two of our favorite Masterpiece Mysteries series (Sunday nights on PBS) returned (on September 15) with new episodes! Woo hoo! Moonflower Murders, sequel to last year’s popular Magpie Murders, will air weekly through October 20 (and continue streaming for our rerun pleasure). The great protagonist, editor-turned-amateur-sleuth Susan Ryland, joins forces with fictional-within-the fiction detective Atticus Pund. The character has an active imagination! That’s probably what makes her good with words, or perhaps the writers of the show are the ones who deserve credit. (We’d like to think that writers sometimes do, hint, hint.)

Elsewhere in the mystery world, ruggedly handsome Dutch detective Piet Van der Valk (portrayed by the wonderful Marc Warren) will attempt to keep Amsterdam free of lowlifes in Season 4 of his Masterpiece series, Van der Valk. New episodes will appear until October 27.

“What’s that?” you ask. “Started on September 15?” By the time you read this column it’ll already be October. Well: Our bad. Our timing is a little off. We’ve already explained (complained?) that you can blame it on that marauding Mister Hayes! But if it helps, a new mystery show starts October 27: The Marlow Murder Club. We haven’t previewed it, but it sounds kinda fun. Happily, we all have time to get involved with that.

While proofreading this column (that we hope you just read), we noted the cleverness of these British titles: Masterpiece, Magpie, Moonflower, Marlow, etc. Very cool. We can imagine American producers following suit, possibly with Mudpuddle Murders, Moneymaking Murders, or Microscopic Murders.

We just hope nobody plans a series based on the travels and travails of Widespread Hayes.