Soul Matters – May 2019

By the time you read this, school will be back in session and I will be celebrating the end of another spring break “staycation.” Two weeks without the benefit of an entertaining trip to an exotic locale—or even a lousy locale—is about ten days too many. (Okay, we did go to California to see family, but I don’t count that as either exotic or particularly entertaining, seeing as I did all the cooking.)

Which is why this month, you are reading a reprise. Two weeks of trying to engage two bored teenagers, driving, working on a new website, seeing clients and trying to finish my next book (note the word “trying”) left precious little room for any additional expenditures of time, energy or creativity. But do not fear! The following is an excellent and most helpful list, perfect for cutting-out and sending to your children or taping to the fridge.

The Eight Best Pieces of Advice, Ever:

1. Speak Your Truth In Love—You can’t go wrong if you say what needs to be said in a loving way. No one can argue with your truth and you’ll have no regrets if you present it lovingly.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally—Nothing anyone says or does is about you: it’s about them. If someone gets upset and goes off on you, it says only that they are unhappy. You don’t have to take on their unhappiness. Remember, just because someone hands you a plate of poo-poo doesn’t mean you have to accept it.

3. Pain is Inevitable, but Suffering is Optional—You will hurt; that’s a given. But you get to choose how you handle your pain. You can accept it, look for meaning and grow, or you can whine and moan and be a victim.

4. Make the Good Count for More Than the Bad—My friend Pattie taught me this. I think about it all the time. Since what you focus on increases, it makes darned good sense.

5. When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them—This comes from the late, great Maya Angelou. Accept others as they are without making excuses for them or imagining/expecting they will change and then act accordingly.

6. Choose Your Friends Wisely—The company you keep has a powerful impact on your entire life. Make sure the people you spend your precious time with lift you up in every way. (See #5.) Otherwise, what’s the point?

7. To Thine Own Self Be True—Don’t worry about being liked; your only concern should be whether you like yourself. Know your own heart, be true to it, and the right people will be drawn to you for the right reasons.

8. Treat People The Way You Would Like To Be Treated—Best advice ever. It’s so simple. If you do nothing else but live this Golden Rule, you will lead a happy life and make the world a better place to boot.

Kate Ingram, M.A., is a life transitions coach and award-winning author. She gives a lot of advice all the time, mostly to her children, some of which is pretty good. Find out more at katherineingram.com.