Michelle Hensman

Michelle Hensman

March 2014, Family Views – by Michelle Hensman

I’ve been working on this article since Christmas Eve when our dog of 12 years passed away. Since then and up until the last couple weeks, we’ve been grieving and I’ve been trying to make sense of why we are all so broken-hearted over an animal? I’ve asked other family members and friends, who have pets, if they can explain the nature of the relationship that feels so precious; no one really can except to say, “It’s like they’re family.” Yeah, but what makes them like family? What do they contribute? Looking back on our time with Riley, I tried to logically analyze this emotional relationship and put it into words…

We adopted Riley, a vulnerable 6-week-old black lab mix who was left for dead with her brother in a moving box on the side of the road in the desert outside of Las Vegas, 12 years ago. Logically, I know there is no evidence to prove that dogs understand their circumstances, but if you speak to anyone who has ever adopted a rescue dog, they all say the same thing, “It’s like, somehow they know that things could have been so much worse for them and so every day they just seem so very thankful.” That was certainly true of Riley. She was a soft, gentle soul with eyes that seemed to embrace everyone she met with pure, unadulterated love…even on her worst days.

Riley innately knew how to be the perfect best friend to all of us. She was always an eager, willing playmate for our boys, who specifically loved to play soccer and chew-up snagged baseballs. She was their tutor, eating homework when their effort was suspect or she felt they could use a little extra practice. She mentored them through valuable life lessons; teaching them how to be nurturers, to respect, love and care for nature, to understand the importance of boundaries, consistent discipline, rules and obedience. Most importantly, I believe she single-handedly taught them how to love unconditionally; not one time did I ever hear my boys yell at her, “I hate you Riley! I want to move to a new family because you’re so mean!”

Although my husband was sadly allergic to her, they had a firm understanding; he cared deeply for her and she knew it. She respected his authority and slept happily at his feet when he watched late night television. She repaid his kindness and showed her appreciation by keeping our family home safe when he was called away to work long hours or travel.

For me, Riley was my all-around companion. She was my running partner, until her arthritis set in, and then she became my walking buddy until that was too much as well. She was my taste tester when I tried a new recipe and never once did she criticize my cooking; in fact she usually begged for more. She was an amazing housekeeper, always ready, willing and able to take care of a food spill. She never let me drink wine alone and always made me feel like I was right and everyone else was wrong.

Riley was, without a doubt, the best family therapist I’ve ever met or experienced. She was available at all hours of the day/night, she listened intently, without interruption and best of all, she never charged a dime! She saw/experienced every one of us at our absolute worst and never once conveyed judgment or threatened to withdraw love or affection.

One thing I must admit Riley was not very good at was yard maintenance; therefore, we had to begin to see things a little differently. We finally decided she was more like a groundskeeper…and giver. She would move things into place where she liked them, dig holes where she needed them and adorned our yard with multiple homemade lawn sculptures daily. She was a true artist, working in her own distinct medium, who never tired, nor did she become discouraged after we cleared her work away; in fact, she was always willing to give more! That really sums her up: despite everything, she was always willing to give more…even in her final days.

It’s been said dogs are man’s best friend, but I think it goes beyond that. Friends and even family have limits to how much of our obnoxious behavior they are willing to deal with. However, a dog will always take your side and forgive without hesitation. They don’t have cold shoulders, hold grudges, ask for explanations or apologies. They will not give you the silent treatment, regardless of how nasty you may be; at least not on purpose anyway. They will never let anyone hurt you; unless your attacker has good quality treats, that’s a real possibility. All jokes aside, what makes them so great is that despite any faults or shortcomings, they always make you feel like you are the most important person/ family in the entire world, because without a doubt you are to them.

RIP Riley Jo and all cherished pets who have moved-on. You are forever with us and profoundly missed!

Posted March 6, 2014